"I have returned!"

THIS HAS BEEN MY LONGEST blog break since I became active in the blogosphere last October 2008. I am quite busy nowadays; the chicken harvest has been extended for a week because the company can hardly market the dressed chicken. I guess this is a very distinct ‘clinical sign’ that South Australia and the Australian states nearby are already affected with the ‘viruses’ of this severe, chronic global financial crisis.

Collecting the daily mortality from the twelve chicken sheds is getting more and more difficult for me! Imagine pushing a wheel barrow daily, from end to end of a very dusty, feathery, smelly and densely populated shed (approximately 135m long), with 35-50 dead chickens (some are decomposing) that weighs 3.5 to 4.0 kilograms each! I am just explaining the mortality picture of the first four lanes of a chicken shed, and there were still 4 lanes left—with almost the same condition.

Chicken harvest is best done at night because birds are naturally sedated by darkness; but the activity greatly disturbs my circadian rhythm making me drowsy and lethargic during weekdays.

I’ve been drafting a blog entry about ‘Truth and Lies’ for three days now but I couldn’t find the perfect mood to pursue and finish what I had outlined. I really couldn’t understand but my job as a chook-minder has been torturing me both physically and psychologically, and because of this current economic recession I couldn’t just leave this job right away... otherwise I’ll become one of those Filipinos that aggravate the headache of President Arroyo back home.

In four days, I’ll be completing my two years of ‘roller coaster’ stay in this Land Down Under. At the moment, I can confidently say that, somehow, I am 89.99% adjusted to the outback Australian way of life—the ‘ghost towns’, the boundless horizons, the language and the accent, the shops shutting at 5pm, etc. My job is the only, yet a major complication! I couldn’t appreciate it; I am part of the best performing team of this poultry integrator in South Australia that produces a million dressed chicken every 60 days but I still feel I am worthless. I believe that I can do more than my current responsibility but I am totally restrained from executing it. If I can only lie to myself that I really love and like the nature of my present job, I will do it, but I can’t! Whew! So before I lose my sanity, I need to do something... I have to achieve something... because I know that to resign and to repatriate myself is not the best option this time.

Finally, last Saturday I decided to try my luck, at the soonest possible time (so help me God), in turning every stone along the rough roads of becoming a qualified veterinarian in this country. I will do it with or without the permanent residency sponsorship from my employer; I really don’t know but if he has plans to do it, I am not sure when.

Ooopss! I didn’t expect this post to be this long, because my original plan was just to leave a few words saying, “I shall return!” But look, I already have this now; and this would surely make The Chook-minder’s Quill, finally, updated!

Kakaibang Multo

Minumulto ako! Pilit ko man itong kinakalimutan, araw-gabi pa rin niya akong binabalikan!

Sa nakalipas na dalawamput-isang buwan at isang linggo, unti-unting nawawalan ng saysay ang anim na taong iginugol ko sa pag-aaral sa USM. Sa aking kasalukuyang katayuan, ang aking propesyon ay parang isang kaluluwa—nandiyan lang sa isang tabi, nagpaparamdam, ngunit hindi ko nakikita ang kanyang silbi! ...sa bagay, kung hindi marahil sa aking natapos sa Pilipinas, hindi rin siguro ipinagkaloob ng Australian Immigration ang hawak kong visa ngayon.

Isang napakasamang bangungot para sa akin ang magtrabaho bilang isang karaniwang magmamanok dito sa Australia! Kinikilabutan akong suungin araw-araw ang makapal na alikabok, at ang nakasusulasok na amoy at hibla ng mga balahibo ng manok na nakalutang sa hangin sa loob ng shed! Kahindik-hindik ang mamulot at maglibing ng daan-daang mga patay na manok araw-araw! Nakakakilabot ang magpatakbo at maglingap ng isang napakalaking manukang may mga makabagong kagamitang mekanikal at elektrikal! Nakakaduwag ang magtrabahong mag-isa sa gabi, pati ang tumira sa isang nilisang bahay na napakalayo sa kabihasnan!

Nakakatakot! May nagpaparamdam... Tumatayo ang aking mga balahibo sa nakalipas na limang araw dahil nararamdaman ko ang kawalan ng gana sa aking pang-araw-araw na mga gawain. Nagsisilundagan ang mga daga sa loob ng aking dibdib dahil parang ayaw ko nang ipagpatuloy ang sinimulan kong laban para sa aking mataas na PangaRap!

Natatakot rin naman akong biglang lisanin ang manukang ito. Nangangamba akong mawalan ng trabaho sa gitna ng pandaigdigang krisis sa ekonomiya... Ikinakatakot kong umuwi sa Pilipinas at maging isang palamunin ng aking ina! Ano kaya ang naghihintay sa akin pagdating ko sa aking Bayang matagal ko na ring iniwan? Iuunat kaya Niya ang Kanyang mga braso upang ako'y yakapin pagbaba ko ng eroplano, o ako’y katakutan at palalayasin na tulad ng isang dyablo?

Ayaw kong tumanggap o humarap sa kasindak-sindak na mga panlalait, kaya takot rin akong basta nalang susuko sa labang ito. Ayaw kong tawaging isang batang takot sa multo o isang batang talunan!

Limang buwan na lang sana ang aking hihintayin at matutupad na rin ang aking pinaPangaRap! 154 na tulog nalang sana at ako’y makakalabas na mula s4 kulun5ang i7o, at malaya ko na ring masisilayan ang bukang-liwayway na hindi na isang bilanggo sa rehas ng aking mga PangaRap! 154 na araw nalang sana ang aking titiisin, pero bakit ako ngayo’y minumulto ng napakaraming mga katanungan at walang humpay na binabagabag ng di mabilang na mga kinatatakutan?

Paubos na yata ang aking katapangang harapin ang mga katakot-takot na pagsubok! ...mga pagsubok para sa isang beterinaryong Pilipino—na piniling maging isang karaniwang magmamanok sa ibang bansa.

Dito sa mundo, ang daming multo!